Today, gratitude is often understood as a psychological or spiritual tool. It is considered a resource that can be trained, practiced, or cultivated. Numerous studies, guidebooks, and coaching approaches deal with the question of what gratitude does and how it can be used in everyday life.

At the same time, many people report that gratitude does not come naturally to them. They know that they “should” be grateful, but they do not experience this feeling permanently or only with effort. This text therefore approaches gratitude not as a method, but as a phenomenon that arises under certain inner conditions—and disappears again, but is basically always there.

What gratitude does and why so many want to practice it

In psychological and neuroscientific contexts, gratitude is often associated with positive effects. Studies investigate how gratitude changes the brain and what effects it has on stress management, emotional stability, and interpersonal relationships.

This has led to the widespread assumption that gratitude is a skill that can be deliberately developed. Gratitude training, gratitude exercises, and gratitude journals are supposed to help anchor this attitude in everyday life. Gratitude is understood as the cause of well-being.

This view is plausible, but it often leads to an expectation: gratitude should achieve something. This is precisely where the inner conflict of many people begins.

Practicing gratitude, training gratitude:  inner resistance

Those who consciously try to practice gratitude often find that it creates inner tension. Gratitude becomes a task, a daily duty, or a criterion for personal maturity. Questions such as “What should I be grateful for?” or “Why is gratitude so difficult for me?” come to the fore.

It is not uncommon for subtle resistance to arise. People compare their own lives with those of others, relativize their difficulties, or feel guilty about not being grateful enough. In this process, gratitude loses its open character and becomes an inner achievement.

What was intended as a supportive practice can thus create additional pressure.

What good is a gratitude journal if it doesn’t bring peace?

At this point, many approaches reach an impasse. Despite consistent use of gratitude exercises, meditation, or daily prompts, no lasting inner peace is achieved. The external practice works, but the desired effect remains limited.

This shifts the central question: it is no longer how gratitude is properly expressed, but whether gratitude is something that can be actively generated at all. This shift marks an important turning point in understanding.

Gratitude’s spiritual meaning – not a state, not a prayer, not coaching

From the traditional non-dual perspective, as represented by Madhukar, gratitude appears in a different light. Here, it is not understood as a spiritual practice, nor as prayer, nor as an inner state that needs to be stabilized.

In this context, gratitude is neither a goal nor a method. It does not arise through an effort of will, but occurs as a side effect when inner resistance temporarily disappears. It is not a special experience, but a moment in which something is viewed differently than before. Some believe that gratitude arises when life is not evaluated or corrected. While this is relaxing, this moment is even deeper than that. The person recedes into the background, and pure being reveals gratitude all by itself.

What is the frequency of gratitude – and how can it really feel?

In many modern models of consciousness, gratitude is described as a form of vibration or frequency. David R. Hawkins’ Scale of Consciousness is particularly well known in this context. In this model, emotional and mental states are classified according to how broadly or narrowly they structure human experience – from strongly ego-centered, fear-based states to open, connecting levels of consciousness.

It is important to note a common misconception: Hawkins does not assign gratitude to a specific frequency. Rather, gratitude is understood as an expression of higher states of consciousness.

Specifically, it is assigned to the realm of love (approx. 500) and joy (approx. 540). These levels mark a transition from the ego’s mode of deficiency and control to inner openness, connectedness, and greater inner coherence. In this sense, the frequency models show one thing very clearly: the high value of gratitude in human experience. Here, it is not considered a secondary feeling, but rather an indication that consciousness is not currently dominated by fear, defensiveness, or inner struggle.

Depending on how gratitude is experienced, it manifests itself closer to love or closer to joy. As quiet gratitude, it corresponds more to the realm of love: calm, expansive, unspectacular, carried by an inner sense of agreement. Thoughts recede, judgments lose their significance, and a feeling of inner expansiveness arises without emotional exaggeration.

However, gratitude can also manifest itself intensely and powerfully. In these moments, it is closer to the quality of joy. It becomes physically noticeable, often in the chest or heart, as warmth, openness, or a strong radiance. Some experience it as bursting with happiness, as overwhelming vitality, or deep inner emotion. This form of gratitude is not quiet, but very present—and yet not contrived.

From an Advaita perspective, these manifestations do not contradict each other. Rather, they make it clear that gratitude is not a fixed state. It has no uniform quality, no fixed intensity, and no frequency that can be maintained or reproduced. It can be quiet or loud, calm or overwhelming. What all these forms have in common, however, is their origin: Gratitude appears where the ego does not evaluate, compare, or control for a moment.

Understood in this way, the vibration and frequency models are less a guide to creating gratitude than a map of its significance. They locate gratitude in a realm of consciousness beyond lack and inner pressure – regardless of whether it manifests as quiet expansiveness or a radiant opening of the heart.

Gratitude Rilke, Gratitude Rumi: Hints Instead of Instructions

Texts by Rainer Maria Rilke or Rumi are often quoted in connection with gratitude. It is striking that these texts do not contain any instructions. They do not describe exercises or give advice.

“Gratitude for the blessing is sweeter than the blessing itself.” Rumi

“Gratitude is more a state of mind than a form of expression.” Rainer Maria Rilke

Instead, they refer to an attitude of open perception. Gratitude does not appear there as a goal, but as a response to life itself – beyond evaluation or purpose.

Gratitude in everyday life – when no one has to learn it

People often ask how people learn gratitude or how children develop gratitude. These questions assume that gratitude is something that has to be taught. However, observations in everyday life show that gratitude is especially present where there is little comparison and evaluation.

In everyday life, gratitude does not manifest itself as a conscious attitude, but in moments when life is not commented on. It is not a permanent characteristic of a person, but a situational occurrence.

Gratitude is the key to happiness – but no one holds on to it

The statement that gratitude is the key to happiness is widespread. From a non-dualistic point of view, however, this key is not an instrument that anyone can use deliberately. Gratitude cannot be brought about and cannot be secured permanently.

It appears when the pursuit of happiness temporarily subsides. Not as a means to an end, but as an indication that there is no inner resistance active at that moment.

What remains

Gratitude is often described as the cause of contentment. However, in this logic, it remains tied to a goal. From a non-dual perspective, a different understanding emerges: gratitude is neither a tool nor a stable state.

It appears where the constant evaluation of one’s own life is interrupted. Not because external circumstances change, but because inner resistance subsides. Feelings and thoughts come and go. Gratitude is always there—always accessible. Have you found it, the key to happiness, the key to this moment, the key to gratitude? Perhaps its value lies precisely in this: as an indication that nothing needs to be corrected right now, in this moment.

Want to try it out? Come to the retreat and see if what I promise here is true.

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Hi, I’m Shivani

Blogger and podcaster at Madhukar Enlighten Life. I’ve known Madhukar since 2004 and do what I can to ensure that his effective message of happiness reaches as many people as possible. This post came from my pen – and ChatGpt helped me a little.